Some more Miles Kimball gems. Just in time for Christmas!?

This cane with the icepick tip is very useful for those icy situations. Your feet may slide out from under you, but rest assured, your cane will stay perfectly in place. And you can use it to stab people with when they piss you off with their old people antics.




Dude. Totally. Look at this sauna suit with the racing stripe sleeves. Drop pounds healthy way by sitting out in the sun and sweating your nutsack off.




The "Rollabout Chair". Rock on. Look at the chick's MOM jeans, too. Here, here, let me get that for you...*rolllllll*. And why the fuck does it have a huge BICYCLE seat?




There is absolutely no comment even needed here. This shit just writes itself.



Another time-saving SCOOTING AROUND device in this magazine. Nice plastic wheels. And nearly-white tapered jeans.




This is by far my favorite. When I opened the magazine and saw this, I busted out laughing. No texting or calling while driving, but you can have a full-blown eating tray complete with swivel feature. This just looks SO dumb...I still can't stop laughing at it. I like how everything is so neatly set on this tray...like the drink wouldn't fly right off of there when you turn a corner.




WTF. God. (I almost didn't post this one for fear of recurring nightmares).




Look...if you put on weight, you do not have to shop for bigger jeans. You can be a cheapass and just stretch out the waist. I seriously might need this device. (Seriously).




This is called out as a "hot seller". For those of us that can't bend far enough to cut our gigantic toenails. But apparently have good enough eyesight to see what you're cutting from that far away.




I just love brushing my hair with this hairbrush. I'm totally not even middle aged or grey-haired. I just honestly cannot reach my own head anymore. Except to put on this mascara and eyeliner that I'm wearing.