Harriet Carter Sheeeeeiiiit

Always browsing for new crap inventions you know. This might be the best thing I've ever seen....out of all the discoveries so far (for past ones, click on the tag on this entry called "Miles Kimball Magazines"). Yeah, I know this particular one is actually from a Harriet Carter magazine. But same thing.

ONION GOGGLES
Onion goggles let you chop, slice and dice onions—and never shed a tear! Special protective eyewear features anti-fog lenses and a tight foam seal that shields sensitive eyes from irritating onion vapors. One size fits most (sorry...can't be worn over eyeglasses). Sturdy plastic design.
$9.99



Is cutting up onions really that much of an issue in someone's life that these special suctiony goggles needed to be invented?

This is the field I need to get into. INVENTIONS. Some ass clown out there is making millions of of something like this, and I get to sit in a cubicle every day.

Oh...oh...and if you need a fix for nighttime breathing problems, these are on sale...

NASAL CONES
Snore less, breathe easier with miracle nasal cones! Soft, flexible rubber cones fit comfortably in yournostrils at bedtime to aid breathing, reduce snoring, congestion and resulting mouth dryness. They open nasal airways naturally, are washable, re­usable, and trim to fit. You get a set of 4 in two sizes. USA made.
Now $7.85 (marked down from $9.98)



I like how this is a cartoon drawing, because they couldn't find anybody stupid enough to put these plastic cones in their nostrils. Because you want to look like a PIG when you sleep. A smiling one.