Happy 27th Birthday Ellen!

Ellen: for you, too, I have come up with a little "Birthday List O' Laughter"! Let me know what you think.

• Pretending that the pimentos in green olives made you sing better
  
• Chronic bad breath from eating so much Italian dressing and garlic pickles
  
• Your "house" (little area made by opening your baby dresser door into the corner), and peeing in it. "G'bye guys, I'm going home now!" *PPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
  
• NEVER being satisfied at Christmas:
  "I don't want this FARTY care bear!" (whips it across room)
  "What? I didn't get the Paseo for Christmas???" (storms out of room and ruins Christmas)
  "Emily's massage chair has the ROLLING massage feature, and mine doesn't." *disappointed* "Emily, can we trade??"
  
• Knocking the mirror off of the Paseo and blaming it on a hit and run
  
• Having a dog poop fight w/ me on Woodland Drive (I totally won)
  
• The annoying violin lessons ee-ee-ee-eee-ee
  
• Barfing up salsa and cream soda in the car and wanting to eat right away afterwards
  
• “Swilling” alcohol at the ARMATA hotel while on our ski trip
  
• Run! Towards the shed! I’ve got her!!” *dinosaur face EMERGES from bushes*
  
• Knowing how to make the “ugliest face ever” and refusing to ever let Jared see
  
• Draping hooded sweatshirts over your head to pretend you had long hair (always)
  
• BUTCHNITZ
  
• Creamy water
  
• Watching Labyrinth, Alice & Wonderland, Grease, and Jungle Book 10 zillion times over and over and over
  
• Your favorite song, Uptown GEE
  
• Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my daarrrrlin Clementine. She's a swee-tie in convee-tee...."
  
• “Buttering” your nails
  
• The Witto Bwack Goggie
  
• “Why would a camel have such bad breath? All it does is eat GRASS.”
  
• Master thief – clothes, perfume, CD's, movies, etc. constantly disappearing from our closets
  
• Ebeon Peweyball
  
• Balderdash: “A Hungarian 3-wheeled bicycle? Why wouldn’t it just be called a TRICYCLE, Jared???”
  
• Always farting in your little parking ramp booth and reeking the whole box up while working.
  
• So you want a LARGE sundae with EXTRA marshmallows then, Dad?
  
• “Emily, take this stick and throw it for Riley, and then when she gets it tell Dad she uprooted one of his newly planted trees”
  “No way! Do you know how pissed he’ll be?? Don’t do it, Ellen.”
  “I’m GUNNA.”
  
• Xavier Penis Turd
  
• "Waitress, can you please bring me a bowl of parsley?" *immediately DUMPS bowl of parsley into purse where guinea pig was hiding*
  
• BETELGEUSE
  
• Secretly taking the headrest off of Mom's seat on car rides
  
• SLEEPWALKERS: "What's the matter, don't you like me TANYA???" ha ha hh a "COP KA-BOB!!!!!"
  
• David Bowie's ugly dick pants on Labyrinth
  
• Eating those charcoal snakes on 4th of July and having to take ipecac
  
• Commentating over Heidi's yoga video:
  "DIG your penis into the sand..."
  "SHUT UP ELLEN!"